Dear Devon, Dallin, Tori, Tess, and Derek,
I love you sweeties. I have spend a lot of time this past month thinking/worrying about how me working part-time outside our home is going to affect you short term and long term. I wonder if you will blame me some day for doing what I'm doing now. I hope you know that mine and Dad's decision was struggled over for hours/days. My Mom never worked at a formal job away from home. She did work her tail off in our home and on our farm (have you noticed she doesn't have one anymore??), but I don't know what it would have been like for me if she did what I am doing. I hope you know that Dad and I truly feel it will be in our family's best interest in the long run. Some days I ache because I don't get to spend as much time with you as I want to, but I need you to know forever how much you mean to me. I am grateful for this look into the lives of full-time working Moms. I admire their courage and perserverance. I don't know how they do it for years day in and day out. I do want you to know that I don't want to ever use my jobs as a cop out for being a lousy Mom. I pray that I will take every opportunity to spend meaningful time with you that I can. I admire each of you for not being angry at me for working, for trying so hard to clean the house and be kind to one another, for loving imperfect me, for doing your best to listen and obey your Dad and I. I just need you to know tonight how much I love you. You're all in bed, I have been typing late, and I am just feeling that love in my heart for you dear little darlings. Sweet Dreams. Please, please know how much I love you.
Love,
Your Mama
XOXOXOXOX
